I am creating this blog as an outlet for the subconscious, however it wishes to express itself. I invite your thoughts into this conversation with no goal in mind other than the sharing. I will start with a brief account of my moment of awakening and my ongoing thoughts about it. Please share yours.
My personal awakening was, I suppose, a relatively gentle ride. It was not without it's frightening and frustrating extremes. It first presented itself as an intense desire to awaken - even though to what I had no idea - and culminated in an anxiety induced illness that drove me to a profound experience of grace. I wonder if grace always presents itself that way? Must it be forced on us? The word grace is so subjectively defined, but I don't have a better word for it. It is not a state that we get to and remain. It is a constantly moving target...a moment to moment choice we must make over and over and over. As we witness events occurring in front of us, the choice is always there. We either succumb to the limited power of our analytical and often negative conscious mind, which is the source of fear and doubt, or we surrender to the higher power that we all are, which is the source of love and peace. This higher power is our true nature. The light is always on, welcoming us home.
And I found home. It is not out there somewhere, it is in here. In my very own mind and heart. It lies deep below myriad conscious thoughts and decisions I make with the conscious and subconscious parts of the mind all the time. The chatter I disperse with great conviction that "I" am in control of my life is the very thing that muffles the soft voice of the higher self, the real controller, the real power, the real "I". My "I" is the same as your "I". I don't mean I have one and you have one, but that they are one and the same. It's where our individuality stops and we are whole.
The collective subconscious mind is the original architect of our dna - the blueprint by which we are built. The structure itself, the body, is not under our conscious control, but the ego has tricked us into believing otherwise. We determine whether things are right or wrong with the body and seek external solutions. Our egos have become so complex and rigid, exponentially strengthened by thousands of years of societal and cultural indoctrination and habituation. And the noise of our egos has become so loud, we can no longer hear the soft voice of god that speaks to us.
The arguing between the voices in my head have lessened considerably. I'm beginning to recognize the thoughts, the beliefs, that drag me down, make me uncomfortable, confuse me, and drive me to judge whatever reality is in front of me. There is the realization in a given moment that I am functioning from my lower self and that I need to surrender my thinking. I can't change WHAT i see, but I can change HOW i see it. The sleep inducing voice of the ego is recognized and the real voice is allowed to express itself in unknown, unpredictable ways.
Soon we find that in stepping off the cliff, we do not plummet to a horrible death. In fact, we realize that remaining on the cliff IS death and life is in the leap! Once we experience this, it becomes easier to choose it again, and we do have to choose it each and every time, which builds trust. It's like diving into water the first time. If you've never been in water, your ego wants to know what is going to happen so it can protect you from harm. Since it doesn't know, it makes up possible scenarios. The problem with that is, if the ego has not experienced something, it is automatically afraid of it. This limits our experience. This limits life itself. Life is in the swimming, not the THOUGHTS ABOUT the swimming.
My personal awakening was, I suppose, a relatively gentle ride. It was not without it's frightening and frustrating extremes. It first presented itself as an intense desire to awaken - even though to what I had no idea - and culminated in an anxiety induced illness that drove me to a profound experience of grace. I wonder if grace always presents itself that way? Must it be forced on us? The word grace is so subjectively defined, but I don't have a better word for it. It is not a state that we get to and remain. It is a constantly moving target...a moment to moment choice we must make over and over and over. As we witness events occurring in front of us, the choice is always there. We either succumb to the limited power of our analytical and often negative conscious mind, which is the source of fear and doubt, or we surrender to the higher power that we all are, which is the source of love and peace. This higher power is our true nature. The light is always on, welcoming us home.
And I found home. It is not out there somewhere, it is in here. In my very own mind and heart. It lies deep below myriad conscious thoughts and decisions I make with the conscious and subconscious parts of the mind all the time. The chatter I disperse with great conviction that "I" am in control of my life is the very thing that muffles the soft voice of the higher self, the real controller, the real power, the real "I". My "I" is the same as your "I". I don't mean I have one and you have one, but that they are one and the same. It's where our individuality stops and we are whole.
The collective subconscious mind is the original architect of our dna - the blueprint by which we are built. The structure itself, the body, is not under our conscious control, but the ego has tricked us into believing otherwise. We determine whether things are right or wrong with the body and seek external solutions. Our egos have become so complex and rigid, exponentially strengthened by thousands of years of societal and cultural indoctrination and habituation. And the noise of our egos has become so loud, we can no longer hear the soft voice of god that speaks to us.
The arguing between the voices in my head have lessened considerably. I'm beginning to recognize the thoughts, the beliefs, that drag me down, make me uncomfortable, confuse me, and drive me to judge whatever reality is in front of me. There is the realization in a given moment that I am functioning from my lower self and that I need to surrender my thinking. I can't change WHAT i see, but I can change HOW i see it. The sleep inducing voice of the ego is recognized and the real voice is allowed to express itself in unknown, unpredictable ways.
Soon we find that in stepping off the cliff, we do not plummet to a horrible death. In fact, we realize that remaining on the cliff IS death and life is in the leap! Once we experience this, it becomes easier to choose it again, and we do have to choose it each and every time, which builds trust. It's like diving into water the first time. If you've never been in water, your ego wants to know what is going to happen so it can protect you from harm. Since it doesn't know, it makes up possible scenarios. The problem with that is, if the ego has not experienced something, it is automatically afraid of it. This limits our experience. This limits life itself. Life is in the swimming, not the THOUGHTS ABOUT the swimming.
