Aging in America

Americans, in particular, value youth above most everything but money, and sometimes even that if you look at the $10 billion we spend a year on plastic surgeries plus over $15 billion on beauty products, in spite of a recession. And, generally speaking, the more money one has, the more is spent in an attempt to stay youthful.

Obviously, our programming is extremely negative and concrete around aging. When I turned 60, for instance, I remember quite suddenly having a really hard time with the concept of age. Turning 40, turning 50 had not had the slightest impact on me. 60, however, was different.

My thoughts began to turn negative and fearful. What if my body begins to wear down? What if I get sick? What if I lose my eyesight? What if I become a burden on my child? The feelings these what-if thoughts were conjuring were terrifying. Then, I stopped, as I have learned to do when feeling uncomfortable for no apparent reason. I questioned my thinking. Is any of this going on in my head true? What is the reality about age? Where are my feet right now? Where are these thoughts coming from? Since I am generally enthusiastically, and at times annoyingly, optimistic, these thoughts didn't feel like they were my own. Then I realized that indeed they we not! They were the agreed upon beliefs of my society, and were so deeply unconscious, that they were controlling me rather than the other way around.

So, as we react from our programming, beliefs that youth is at the top of the value chart, when we begin to age, we then "believe" that we are losing our value as human beings. Now that's a scary thought. Is it true? Absolutely not! There is an "I'm just getting old" saying that is a convenient box in which we toss myriad health issues, reinforcing the belief that getting old brings with it common inevitable ailments such as arthritis, failing eyesight and hearing, memory loss; weight gain, diminished agility and vitality, etc. These are only common because there is so much collective agreement about it. When we believe these kinds of things, we trade our expansive sense of adventure for contracting caution. We don't take risks. We walk slower. We hold on to the railing. In other words, we live in fear.

There isn't a single age-related illness that occurs to EVERY human being. That in itself proves to me that nothing is inevitable. Well, maybe wrinkles. But those are debilitating. As I began to question my beliefs and disengage from the programming, I was open to what is real and consequently I was given plenty of evidence that aging is relative. Everywhere I turned I was shown examples of people much older than I, 90, 100+, still working and participating in life in vital and joyful ways. That will be me, I determined. This is what I choose to believe now. So be it.

We have to take our minds back, disengage from the programming and embrace the unexpected...the uncertainty. Life is not lived if lived in others' expectations.