I am just beginning to define creativity, for myself, that is, for it is a most subjective experience after all. Though I have many interests - music, film, writing, painting, crafting, dancing - all have been blocked for some time, and as I more deeply consider, perhaps even all my life.
Examining the block itself instead of remaining in a culdesac and "stuck" in the judgement of the block itself as "bad", I see that it is around the need for perfection, and the need for approval...from others, somewhat, yes, but mostly from myself.
I have been standing behind an impenetrable wall of my own creation. It looks like this: "Well, I really don't know where to start; my contribution is redundant because there are so many people who draw/paint/write/sing better than I. Besides, there have been so many books written on the subjects I am most interested in - spirituality/consciousness. There are so many excellent films out about this now. Who would care about one more viewpoint, one more way to verbalize the same messages that are as old as time?"
I tell myself that have missed my window of opportunity to express in these mediums. And if this isn't enough, the lack of money will always turn the light red. I talk myself out of expression and back into suppression...every time. How very sad! So, today...TODAY...I am changing things. It doesn't matter if anyone sees any of this. It doesn't matter whether I even go back and reread it. What matters is the initial outflow. That is where life IS...in the excitement of the self finally being allowed to express without any governor on it - none of the old voices, be it parent, teacher, employer, preacher, and most of all MY OWN! It's another beginning. Here i am, universe! No more rules for me. Now what?
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